Age Restricted Red Bull has announced plans for a gated, age-restricted development in Stafford. Residents will be limited to ages 19-39. The development's recreation center and pool will be open to the public; youth, seniors and veterans will be charged a 50% premium. Speculation is the US Supreme Court (average age: 88) will review the case, since they tend to only support discrimination when it benefits people like them.
Newton's Third Law The Lake Oswego Neighbors Against Change group is circulating an initiative petition to ban children's tricycles, push bikes, and scooters on neighborhood streets. They apparently cause noise and congestion, and detract from neighborhood character.
Invasive Species The resident deer population has embarked on an invasive species removal program. Noting the alarming proliferation of humans, the deer have requested an ordinance prohibiting the feeding of humans. They realize the problem can't be totally eradicated; six breeding pairs would be acceptable.
Patronizing the Poor The opponents of congestion pricing have extended the argument by opposing the use of prices for cars and gasoline. Poor people use those things too, so they should be provided for free by the government and paid for through taxes. When asked what people will do when they are stuck in traffic in their government-issued Lada sedans, the response is, "Let them eat cake." Gluten-free, of course.
For Railfans Speaking of congestion, Metro is planning a $500 trillion bond measure in 2020 to pay for a region-wide rail transit system. To encourage people to actually use this 200-year-old technology, there will be a rail stop at every home and business, with trains running every five minutes. Only one transfer will be required to go anywhere, but with all the stops, it will take two days to travel ten miles. The operating cost is estimated at $10,000 per ride; Metro is hoping for a federal subsidy via a rounding error in the Defense Department budget.
Pool in River City Discussions continue over the school district's request that the city help them pay for their pool. On further analysis, staff discovered that it would be cheaper for the city to pay for teaching children, and let the school district pay for administration and sports.
Homeless in Lake Oswego Still searching for a home, in 2019 the Parks & Rec department will be temporarily housed in a Goodwill drop-off bin in the Safeway parking lot.
Prime Time Entertainment Alec Baldwin has jointed the crowded field running for president in 2020. According to his talent agent, "Alec has both the practice and experience to do the job." The major networks are in a bidding war for the rights to the debate series. Baldwin is seeking the nomination of the Entertainment Party, which by 2020 is expected to have enrolled more voters than those other two parties, whatever they're called.
:-) Thanks!
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